body confidence vs body acceptance

Hello all, today I wanted to share something very dear to my heart and that is confidence, not just confidence but body confidence and sexual confidence. I learned something this year that I thought would otherwise happen instantly. When I lost weight, I thought I'd be more confident, happier and more energetic. I lost 28 kilo's in a year, and whilst there are the health benefits to show for it, I had to learn over time to accept my new body, and how it made me feel.

Before I lost the 28 kilo's I knew who I was, and that gave me confidence, I was confidence as a person in real life, and in the bedroom. I knew how to dress, how to accentuate certain features, and how to be in my own skin.

But when my weight came off, I noticed a change, I wasn't as confident shopping, I didn't know what my true size was any more. I also lost a lot of cleavage size which had at the time given me confidence because  the "girls" had always been there. I did 't even know what bra size I was anymore and after always being an 18dd it made me feel confused.

My partner was noticing differences too, he was commenting on how much smaller my boobs were, not in a negative way but he was just noticing these things, and also how there was less to "grab onto". I've been with my partner for 9 years, and he was also learning about my body as the weight came off. He wasn't used to it and neither was I.

I had to find new ways to feel sexy and confident, so I embraced shopping and changed it up with a new look, I was able to wear things I hadn't been able to wear before, and it was new, and exciting so that gave me confidence.

I had never been able to wear a soft cup bra because I'd always need the extra support from an underwire bra, so this was a totally new concept. Being fitted properly made sure I'd feel secure and that gave me an extra bounce so to speak, which gave me confidence.

I also had to change up my makeup, losing that weight made me realize how much different my face looked. I had lost a lot of chubbiness around the eyes, and basically my whole eye shadow routine had to change with it.

So basically learning to love yourself can literally come in many sizes and forms. I learned that being skinny or losing weight does not actually mean giving yourself instant body confidence. I find though we confuse these two things such as body confidence and body acceptance.

As a woman who had lost the weight instead of feeling instantly happier I actually felt, like a wilted wallflower because I didn't have a clue what to do with my new body. But now, after time and acceptance, I'm growing to love myself again.

Have you gone through something like this before? would love to know!

hugs Jess